We gotta laugh or we’ll cry. (And then cry anyway.)
Hello, fellow Americans! We all love our country — rah-rah, go Cowboys, apple pie, etc. — but if we’re being honest, a lot of things aren’t all that great here. Being an American right now is sort of like being a fan of The Office the last couple seasons…you want to still believe in it, but Michael Scott is gone, James Spader is there for some reason, and Jim and Pam aren’t much fun anymore.
But you know what? Since it is OUR country, we’re allowed to call out our issues and laugh/cry at them in a “it’s funny and sad” kind of way. It’s kind of like that thing where you can call your little brother a lazy, annoying punk, but if anyone outside your family says the same thing, well, them’s fighting words.
So, to be clear, this post is just for Americans. If you’re from one of those countries with free healthcare or…what is it called again? Oh yeah, paid parental leave…well, you gotta get outta here! This isn’t for you!
Only Americans left? OK, good. Here are a bunch of hilariously sad jokes about our lot right now:
THERE’S A FRENCH DUDE READING THIS! I SEE YOU PIERRE OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS! CLICK OUT OF THIS POST, MAN! IT’S NOT FOR YOU!
OK, I think he left. Let’s continue, shall we?
10.
The silver lining to #coronavirus is that the US will fundamentally reassess its broken healthcare system.
Much the same way that Sandy Hook drove the US to really tackle gun control and how the fiascos in Iraq & Afghanistan caused a rethink of the military industrial complex.
Twitter: @smtuffy
17.
2016: FUCK YOUR FEELINGS
2017: YOU LOST GET OVER IT
2018: DRINKING UR LIBERAL TEARS
2019: FOUR MORE YEARS BITCHES
2020: WATER THE TREE OF LIBERTY
Jan 6 2021: OVERTURN THIS ELECTION
Jan 7 2021: this is a time for unity and healing not finger-pointing https://t.co/j5oKeacmIz
Twitter: @juliusgoat
21.
Adult: go to college so you can get an education and change the world!
4 years later:
Student: science says if we dont use alternative energy and less plastic we’ll all be dead in 80 yearsAdult: wow u think ur so smart college sure did turn u into a libtard
Twitter: @marshallshafer
IS THAT FRENCH DUDE STILL HERE?
Not cool, man! And you read all the way to the bottom? After we asked you not to? We better not hear you repeating these jokes to your friends while you eat baguettes and discuss your universal healthcare.
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